Counselling -

The Four Letter Word in Marriage

That Upsets a Lot of People

There’s a four letter word in marriage that far too many people have not heard of. Many have heard of quit, but that’s not the one I’m talking about.

It may be inaccurate to say they’ve not heard of this word, but it would be accurate to say that if that it’s commonly misunderstood regarding a marriage relationship.

The four letter word that upsets and distresses such a great number of people is…the word “work.” Lots of work is required for marriage to work; to enable a couple to realize their dreams of a harmonious relationship.

Perhaps the word “work” has been given a bit of a bad reputation, and it’s been misrepresented to mean something bad or lousy? There are all kinds of references in society about having things “easy” and how great it would be if we could also have an “easy” life.

The problem with an easy life, is that it generally lacks meaningful direction and purpose. This may very well be the root problem for those people looking for an easy marriage; they lack focus in their marriage due to an unrealistic expectation of ease. Too many people are married without having thought through what it is they are trying to create in their marriage.

Stop for a second, and consider times in your life that you’ve felt really good about yourself, that you’ve felt proud of the work you’ve done. I doubt the times you’ve felt really good about what you’ve accomplished have been times when it was really easy. Our sense of accomplishment comes from our ability to overcome obstacles and reach our goals in spite of the challenges.

The greatest sense of accomplishment people feel is when they’ve overcome challenges that they had serious doubts about; challenges that really scared them. This certainly seems similar, if not identical to how a marriage relationship can feel at times. Most people have had the experience of feeling like they’re in way over their heads; hoping to stay afloat and not get sucked under.

Marriage is not a suitable endeavour for the faint of heart to engage in. Courage is required to face the challenges all couples encounter along the way. If you find yourself quite drained from working hard on your marriage, then the root problem may be that you’re not working smart enough. Most couples need a better knowledge base to enable them to succeed in marriage. A wider range of relationship skills, coupled with a strong commitment to working on the marriage, is the best recipe for producing a strong and long lasting relationship.