Counselling -

The Truth About What Men

Really Want in a Wife

Men and women are different in many ways and so are their options for giving and receiving physical support. Most women are able to enjoy a high level of physical support from those they are in close contact with.

If she is a mother, then she has the affection of her children. If she has young children then she has them climbing all over and often feels like she doesn’t have enough space. If she goes out with friends she can give and receive hugs of support. In the workplace it’s also just fine for her to give another female co-worker a supportive hug. In numerous places in her life she has options for being touched in a supportive way.

Men by contrast have very few options, unless of course they live in a country like Italy or Greece where openly showing affection is normal and acceptable.

Men can’t receive much physical support beyond a handshake, while they’re in the workplace . Therefore, a man can go days and weeks without ever being touched by another human being.

Now let’s consider a couple seeking marriage counselling and how this scenario plays out. Let’s assume the couple has young children. Whether the wife is working outside the home or not, she is giving and receiving physical affirmation often, so often in fact, that she feels the need to have some breaks from having small children hanging on her.

Now her husband comes home from work and he hasn’t touched another human being all day and maybe for many days or even weeks. The table is set for another argument about sex because she feels they had sex just a couple days ago and for him it feels like weeks. One of the key reasons is that as men we have very few options for physical affection, with our wives being the primary source.

A counsellor sees this situation all the time; a wife that feels over stimulated and a husband that feels starved.

Women can help improve this situation by developing the habit of touching their husband, and making it a top priority. A man craves more than anything the acceptance by his wife, and if he doesn’t feel he’s getting this he will eventually give up trying.

As unromantic as it may sound, scheduling regular times for sex with your husband like you would any other important appointment, is a great idea. This suggestion may not seem logical to you, but if your man isn’t receiving physical affection from you then he won’t get any, and that is the beginning of the end for the relationship.