Counselling -

Tips to Get Through a Relationship Break Up

Every time a relationship breaks up, be it a dating or marriage relationship, there is loss. The biggest challenge is often not the loss itself, but our ability to accept the loss for what it is…a loss. We are creatures of habit, so even if ending the relationship was the right decision, it can still generate feelings of uncertainty and fear. These feelings of fear and uncertainty can cause us to feel like we may have made a mistake. These feelings are normal when a relationship break up happens and should not be mistaken for being signs of a poor decision.

Some of the questions people end up asking themselves are as follows.

Did I do the right thing?

Will I ever find that special someone to marry?

Why did he/she end it?

Is there something wrong with me? That’s a big one.

How come everybody else seems so happy and I’m so blue?

How will our divorce affect the children?

These thoughts and the feelings they create are not necessarily a problem. Our ability to accept these thoughts and feelings is where most people find themselves challenged.

Let me make this clear. These thoughts and feelings are normal. If you’re dealing with a relationship break up, it’s normal to feel out of sorts and like you’re on somewhat shaky ground.

What’s important is to realize that this is a difficult period of time that will pass, and most importantly…you are not alone. What you are going through is normal for most people, it’s common. You are not alone. Most people go through similar if not exactly the same range of thoughts and feelings when they experience a relationship break up.

In order to successfully get through a relationship break up, one needs to adjust their expectations about what they can and can’t deal with in their life. They may need to get more sleep and exercise, pay closer attention to their diet and most importantly, not expect too much from themselves.

At this time, during a break up, things are not normal. This is a transition period. If handled well, can be a springboard to a brighter tomorrow.

The two worst things a person can do when going through a break up are as follows.

Act like it’s the end of the world…it’s not. It can certainly feel like it though. You will survive. Many others have been where you are now and have made it through, in spite of how difficult it was.

Act like there’s no problem at all…there is.

It’s important to accept the reality of the situation in order to be able to deal with it effectively. Denial of the problem can make it much worse and cause a person to do more damage to themselves than good. Honesty is the best policy.