Hearing is Believing

Think of a time when you felt really great, special, and fantastic, etc. Try to bring to mind the details of the event. Where were you? Who were you with? What were you doing?

Do you have picture clearly in your mind?

OK, assuming you do, who was listening to you and what were you telling them or sharing about yourself with them?

We all want to be accepted for who we are, warts and all, in spite of the fact that there are many thing we don‘t agree on with others and may never agree on. We want to be respected and loved. Yet, very few people I’ve met over the years have a surplus of these experiences where they’ve felt really loved, respected and accepted, just as they are, with all their shortcomings and hang ups, despite their strongly held differences of opinion with others.  

Why?

Very few of us were taught how to listen objectively, without trying to superimpose our own thoughts and feelings onto the other person who is attempting to share, to mould to our line of reasoning, our beliefs.

We were taught many things like reading, writing, speaking, debating, etc., yet how many of us were taught how to listen? Not many.

What about people who were raised in households where children were “seen and not heard?” This was a very commonplace pattern of child rearing for millions of children, so how would these children learn how to listen well to others if they don’t learn it in the home and school?

Listening…a key skill of leaders who build great teams because it tells the people on the team that the leader cares about them as individuals, that they matter, that they are important enough for the leader to take the time to listen to their thoughts and feelings, even though he/she may disagree strongly.

If my wife and I say we love each other but won’t put in the effort to learn how to listen to each other, to our uniquely different points of view as a result of many different things such as; growing up in different homes, with different parents, and of course, as a result of being on the opposite side of the spectrum on many things because we are of the “opposite” sex, then do we really love each other?

Hearing is Believing!